Merry Christmas!

To All that read this, A very Merry Christmas, Happy solstice!

I have not posted for a long time due to the fact of continuing bad health. Nothing new as such, just things getting worse.

I now use a mobility scooter to get around for distances. I am still off work and will be ‘finished/retired’ soon (read ‘terminated’!).

I have had many tests and wait yet more (brain scan on the 27th and another medical on the 2nd).

I live in the ‘twilight zone 99% of the time. Yet I still try to stay positive. I have had a tattoo! lol

I decided that I have had so much pain that a bit more is nothing. so I got a ‘happy frog’ tattooed on my right forearm.Actually I nearly fell asleep during it (compared to my general pain it was almost nice!).

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Yes the picture is upside down! lol but you get the idea!

So now when I feel down I look at my frog! lol

actually a frog is one of my ‘spirit animals’

I went with my eldest daughter and her husband to the Trafford Centre (shopping mall).

They had an enormous animated talking Christmas tree lol and lots of lovely lights . We also went to a Sushi bar. It is a long time since I have been to one and it was a very good meal (the bar is in Selfridges ).

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Suzanna has been a tower of strength in this time of ‘limbo’. It is tiring for both of us, but hey ho.

I have made a new friend. Her name is Marie. She is a local taxi driver and we have become very good friends. Marie visits me when she can and chats on text to me often. Marie is the only one that i have EVER allowed to ‘rib me’ josh with me. Even Suzanna can’t! lol

Marie is one of those people with a kind heart and has been a tower of strength  to me when I have been down. There have been times (and anyone with constant pain will understand) when you just want it to stop. you don’t care how, you just want it to stop.

That is the time when you need you family and friends around you. Marie has been there for me(as has my family).

So I say on here a BIG thank you to my new friend Marie. you have been a tower of strength to me in the last few months. You have given me a ‘kick up the ass’ when needed and understood when I just couldn’t take any more.

As for the new year?

well more tests, and…… more tests lol

But we are going to see about moving to a bungalow as stairs are going to be a big problem in the long run.

I have to rationalise my hobbies, but I am waiting for now to see just what I end up being able to do. I have lost a lot of fine motor skills and my hearing is a lot worse. I am unable to concentrate to listen to any audio books at the moment and anything that requires a lot of  sensory input just wears me out. I sleep in the afternoon every day and sometimes if I have had an appointment then I might sleep for a long time (one such time recently was for 14 hours!).

Despite all this, I thank my lucky stars that I am alive and still able to enjoy some life.

If my adenoma had not been found last year, It is almost certain that I would of died any time from either an aortic anurism or a stroke/heart attack (probably in my sleep). so whilst I might be in a lot of pain and have practically no energy, the alternative is no one I wish to choose.

I hope all that read this have a happy and positive new year.